LifeGiving Mentors.....

It has been some time since I posted last.  Time has a way of running on by you if you are not careful.  In April my son was married and shortly after our arrival in Florida my computer was stolen.  You never know how much you use something until it is no longer there.  At first I thought it would not be a bit deal but as time went on access to a computer became harder and harder.  So I now have a new computer and am catching up on everything that I had been a part of before that point. 


I recently signed up to participate in a mentoring program through my job. I have been paired with 2 ladies whom I have yet to interact, but am looking forward to building a relationship with them over the next year.   Guidelines were put in place for what I believe will be an effective program of building into each other's lives.  


One of the tools for the Mentor that was sent was a book that I found to be one of the best resources for this area entitled lifeGiving Mentors by Tim Elmore.  Tim does an excellent job of writing in "snippets" allowing for a quick refueling for the long time mentors or training for the first timers.  This book is not designed just for women or even just for mentors, but is written for those in leadership who want to understand the younger generations and who are working to develop relationships that make a difference.  I highly recommend this book.  On page 82 he gives the Qualities of a Good Mentor and lists six which should define one's character if he/she is planning on venturing into the challenge of leading others and making a difference. 


These are simple guidelines to consider about yourself as you work with the Lord in establishing mentoring relationships.  You may be stretched in some areas but prayerfully ask the Lord to help you develop and strengthen these so you can, effectively and confidently through the Holy Spirit, offer yourself as His tool in the lives of others. 


1.  INITIATIVE

• I provide direction to my relationship with my menthe and sphere of influence.
• I take responsibility for the health of the relationship.
• I initiate spiritual dialogue with vulnerability and humility. 

2.  INTIMACY

• I experience healthy intimacy with my family or roommates with whom I live. 
• I experience intimacy with my menthe through open and honest conversation. 

3.  INFLUENCE

• I exercise healthy influence in my relationship with my mentee.
• I develop, encourage and facilitate growth in my mentee.
• I am a "giver," a generous contributor in relationships.

4.  INTEGRITY

• I lead a life of integrity and honesty that is above reproach. 
• I am not ashamed of my "private" world, of who I am when no one is looking.

5.  IDENTITY

• I am secure in who I am; I am OK with how my personality is wired. 
• I have a healthy self-image that prevents a defensive attitude. 
• I have developed a mature statement of purpose for my life. 

6. INNER CHARACTER

• I exhibit self-discipline; I base my life on principles not emotions. 
• I am considered a person of strong character and one who models integrity.
• I do not allow my gifts to carry me further than my character can sustain me. 

As you consider each of these areas and remember the Lord reinforces these qualities within His Word as well.  Read Psalm 15 and Psalm 101 as you establish your mentoring goals. 

I highly recommend lifeGiving Mentors (and "no" I am not forgetting to capitalize the first letter of the title). I know you will find it useful and enlightening as you learn more about the mentoring process.  

Ministry starts with God

Recently I have been working on Bible Studies that emphasize intimacy with God. As I have been talking with the Lord and reading my Bible, I have been challenged with my relationship with Him.  How does one effectively minister if God has not been made the first priority? Time and time again God will direct me differently than I would have chosen when I give Him the reins of my life and trust Him.  He can direct and I can hear Him when I give him time and I focus on my relationship with Him.  

In the book, Practicing the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence continually makes radical statements that cause one to stop and evaluate intimacy with God. Comments like, "I have no idea how Christians can live satisfied lives without practicing the presence of God," or "Make it a habit to give Him your whole heart and life, not just once but daily.  Even if you're on a busy schedule.  Every minute of every day, if you can.  Don't just go through the motions of worship strictly by the book, locked into the same devotional script all the time.  No, try this:  worship God in faith by believing that He honestly wants to know you better.  Do what you do out of love."  

 Practicing the presence of God starts with what Francis Chan calls in his book, Crazy Love, a "reverential fear" and an understanding that God is waiting to spend quality time with you.  If you move beyond the "habits" of religious activities such as devotions every day at the same time or church whenever the doors are open and instead ask God to give you a hunger and desire to meet with Him, you may begin to build an intimacy that will direct your life and ultimately the way you minister and to whom you ministry in ways you never dreamed possible.    I am not saying to stop attending church or stop doing activities you are involved in but rather to evaluate your intentions....are you checking God and church off your list or are you meeting with Him and others for worship and intimacy at spiritual levels?

Intimacy with God can be developed individually or with a group of women who desire to move forward in their love for their Lord.  I recently concluded a Bible Study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called, Choosing Gratitude, where meeting with a small group of ladies was a privilege and challenged me in my understanding of the ways God draws each person to Himself.  We all shared and it was great fun to see each one learning something just a little different based on her place of need and desire to grow.  

Intimacy starts with time--time with the God of the Universe who is seeking you to give a love and intimacy that no one else can fulfill but Him.  Find what works for you and if you don't know then ask God to direct you.  Years ago I claimed Jeremiah 33:3 which says, "Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."  He has never let me down.

Talk to Him.  Listen for Him.  Prepare to be challenged to move out of your comfort zone and to be blessed.

I would love to hear from you ways God has given you direction for intimacy with Him.  If you have books, Verses, or ways God has led you to grow, please share with us so we can continue this journey together.

Women's Retreats

This weekend I was able to have Saturday all to myself. I so very seldom have alone time but when I do I always start thinking about what I can learn to pass on to other women for growth.  I get so excited about things that will help make a difference in the lives of women for Christ.  I love finding things that I could pass on to other women for their own ministries.  So, today I ran across Creating a Standout Women's Retreat. 

This is a conversation by two ladies who work in ministry for women and are being interviewed about tips for planning a women's retreat.  Listening to them, I was excited because it was one of the most balanced and defined conversations that I have heard to help women interested in retreat planning. These ladies discuss retreats, conferences and ways for all size churches to build and meet the needs of their ladies.  I strongly suggest you take a few minutes to listen to this podcast if you are part of a group planning a retreat OR if you just want to get excited about retreats in general.  It is excellent.  http://ministryservingministry.com/2010/03/30/creating-a-standout-womens-retreat/

Creating a stand out retreat is something many women start now to think about for spring or fall.  Retreats take a lot of careful planning but the results can be incredible and life changing.  Retreats are a great way to impact others in spiritual and relational growth in the name of Christ. As one who works at a retreat center and works with many types of womens group for retreats, I know how much it takes to put something effective together for growth and relational building.  I often talk with the committee members numerous times before they actually arrive to ensure the details are covered.

If you are interested in a retreat and plan to do one at an offsite location from your church, such as a retreat center, be sure to begin looking for a place early.  You want to be in the position of having options rather than having to compromise your desires because space is no longer available.  A good rule of thumb is to start looking no less than 6 months to a year ahead.  The size of your group will determine the time frame with which you should begin the process. If you have a group of 20-30 women you can wait longer in some cases than you can if you are planning for a  group of 100 or more.  Also, realize that certain months of the year may be more popular than others and you will need to plan accordingly in reserving your space.

If you have an interest in participating in a retreat or are in a group wanting to plan one, take time to listen to these two women from LifeWay who really know the inner workings of planning a retreat and share candidly about it. You will be inspired to step out to make a difference with your women's retreat.

Defining Mentoring.....

My passion for as long as I can remember has been 3 fold:

• ·        To be used by the Lord- (even as a young teenager I actually wrote a song about this….and would sing it in the shower whenever I was overwhelmed with life.) 
• ·        To move forward in growth—I have always wanted to grow and would often irritate people because I was always asking questions about EVERYTHING.  I claimed Jeremiah 33:3 as my life verse because it said,  "Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'
• ·        To impact other women—As long as I can remember I have desired to help women want to be used by the Lord and to grow in their own walk.  

I always like to define Mentoring with the quotes from 2 ladies I thought penned it well:

   “A mentor is a trusted counselor, guide, tutor, coach”                                                               Donna Otto, Scottsdale, Arizona.”     

 “Someone who shares God-given wisdom with someone else on a regular basis with the aim of encouraging that person in bite-sized bits to live a life that is pleasing to God.”  Paula Scantlebury, Fairfields-Sunnyside, England

 
In other words, Mentoring is the giving of oneself in a relationship building format.  

I especially love Paula's definition because it is something I know I can take in and develop. 

Consider today how you can impact others and please ask God to give you one bite-sized bit to share that He gave you this past year.    

Start the New Year considering your mentoring goals.  Take up the challenge to make a difference in the life of just one other woman who needs a bite-sized bit of God’s that He has given to you to share. 

You may very well be mentoring and not even know it. 

 

 Have a great week! 

Excited to Begin 2011!

It is the first day of the New Year and I am excited to have a Blog. This is my first "real" blog and I hope to share with anyone who will participate with me ideas and thoughts about mentoring.  As I look at this new year which is moving into place I realize several things:


First, regardless of how old I am, I want to end well. 2 Timothy 4:7 says, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful."NLT   This is so important to me. I have raised a family, ministered with women for 30+ years and have learn so much about people, but more importantly I have learned that I want to be in growth mode till the last breath I take. Learning and sharing with others is one of God's greatest gifts to us.  Growing and transforming through the light of truth in our minds and hearts gives us an opportunity to pass that light on to someone else.  To have the satisfaction of seeing the light switch on in the heart and mind of another makes the circle of growth complete.  


Second, regardless of our age, we can grow and regardless of what we think we excel in, there are gifts we have that can be passed on to others.  The Psalmist shares in Psalm 78 the importance of passing on God's greatness and impact on our lives to the next generations.  Verse 4 says, "We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders." NLT  


How do we do this?? I believe one way is through mentoring. Through sharing the power of God, the salvation found in Jesus Christ and then the wonderful work that is done through the Holy Spirit in and through our lives.  This is accomplished first and foremost in the most challenging times and also in times of obvious blessing. Sharing manifests itself in the way we have been created for passing on, through the talents, gifts and abilities that each one of us demonstrate everyday.  Consider what you have been given to share. It may be basic life skills such as raising a family, cleaning a house, working in the kitchen. Or it may be creativity through the arts, music, craft creations, painting etc.  You may have a gift of writing or sharing with others how to develop their spiritual walk, their prayer life or building friendships.  


So this year I hope to have many of you join me in an effort to share life with one another through Mentoring Moments provided by ChristLIFE Mentoring Ministries.  I would love to see women of all ages share in a variety of skills that would help each of us move closer to giving of ourselves to others through serving Christ.  


Please think about ways you can share.  Ideas would include:

• Efficient  homemaking skills
• Creative ways to minister such as scrapbooking, journaling etc.
• Hospitality
• Ministry Opportunities
• Serving in the community just to name a few.

We have so much we can share with each other. And it is a privilege to be unified in what brings honor and glory to the Lord even in practical ways. 

Please consider ways you can share and come on board with Mentoring Moments.  I would LOVE to hear from you. 

Denise